Møon's Chronicle

I'm tired, should be sleeping but instead I'm here wasting my time... perhaps I'm not but I feel like I am since it has to do with you, long time not mentioning you and long time not talking to you, I haven't seen you, it is like you are not that important to me anymore. But what brought me here is the incredible swiftness of my strong feeling vanishing that I was wandering how and why... but I'm just being silly because to be honest, I really know how, I really know why.

A couple of months ago I was dying to confess everything that was happening within my heart, how my life was going upside down making me lose my mind, being so out of myself and even getting me out of my precious own world or "Outside World" as I like to call it, where I feel pretty good doing the stuff I really love, so comfortable and where my real self is shown. You were pulling me out, because of you I've done the most stupid things that I never thought I would do them, you had or maybe you still have that enormous power I used to refer to change the way I am in an amazing way, you made me shed tears, you were bringing out the best of my feelings, my creativity was unlimited when giving you presents, cards and letters, never having a balance getting bursting of excitements for a moment or dying of sadness by other times, I swallowed my pride many times, I suffered because of you, my only exception... now it is the opposite, I don't want to tell you anything about my sweet roller coaster of love you were riding in my life, I was so desperate to be able to say it, I wanted to let you know so hard and I don't know why, I was thinking you should know just in case if something could happen. Always waiting for you to have time for me and have this long talk because my heart needed to, I shouldn't blame your situation but sometimes these kind of strong feelings really get in a deeply way that I came to hate you because you don't even have a minute to give me.

Then I suddenly figured out that I got tired of waiting, my heart felt so hurt that "automatically" it began to take action protecting itself from more pain teaching me in the fastest means how to end this mistake. I don't regret this experience but the wound is not healed yet and I have to stop the bleeding (it sounds so emo XD but you know what I mean). Meditating this whole bunch of happenings, I ended up with the conclusion that it is better like this, terminating the weird dream, having more control of myself, coming back to normal.

I know it's kind of low, unnecessary and childish but, the opposite part of saying something is that now, I would like to tell you that this is the first time I stupidly fall for someone and the first time that someone breaks my heart like this. I used to love you, now I just care about you in the slightest way I can. I just want you to be ok and to feel well and good and everything.

I write this now and I hope to keep it like this because sometimes, with you being so unpredictable and with me being so weak at your side, something different could happen but... I will trust me not failing right, Ciz?? :D

See you later, creatures! (as my colorful friend says) =P